Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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