READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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