i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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