I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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