Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I love you. Go after that dick
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
