Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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