It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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