Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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