dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
