Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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