Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
