I just pynch a tree in the face
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
