Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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