I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Randomize
