TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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