The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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