There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
