Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
