I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
