did you get engaged???
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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