You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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