I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i love accidental penises.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
