Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
