Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
