I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
