my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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