where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
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To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that