wakey wakey hands off snakey
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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