...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Panties = found
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