end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Im part way to drunk.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.