so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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