She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
