Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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