I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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