I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
