mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
