You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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