I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
