dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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