isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
not ubering you a puppy
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize