Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
