woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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