You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
