I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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