it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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