i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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