this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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