He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
