Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
