i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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