that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
