Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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