She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
