Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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