I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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