Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He shit in the fireplace
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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