My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i out mim tonsoeep
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