Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i need some magic done to my vagina
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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