he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
