if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
