Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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