Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
