Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
