Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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