quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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