do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize