elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
