oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
