there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
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We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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