U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
