did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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